I……I’m scared. What is going on with me? Everything, pretty much. I’m dealing with the fact that my parents kicked me out, that I can’t accept myself, and I’m just too afraid of life and dealing with it. I don’t want to cry and I don’t want to hurt myself because I know I’m stronger than that. It’s just so tempting sometimes. The only other time I’ve ever been as sad as I am now was in 9th grade. That’s a whole different story that I don’t want to go back to. Do I honestly look sad? Because I’ve been told that I look depressed. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? I can’t be depressed. That means I’m letting all the negative in my life take over. That means I’m not strong enough to block it out. Have I always been this soft? I feel like slapping myself. I don’t even want to be me right now. And all this might be selfish but I don’t care. This is about me. Some great people told me that I need to think about me and help myself now. I’ve been too caught up trying to please everyone else that I’ve been ignoring what I need. I know they’re going to talk to me soon. They’ll probably ask me why I look so sad all the time, even though they know part of the reason why. I can’t tell them the other part of why I’m sad. I can’t deal with the talk that will go on behind my back (not that they’ll be cruel, but just knowing that people will always have something to say). It’s killing me inside. I thought I was doing good. I just don’t get how everyone else can see how sad I am. Where have I been if I can’t even see that? I feel numb now. Talking about everything that’s going on is scary and my mind is just numb. I don’t know what to do, or maybe I’m just scared to make the next move..
haha thank you for that. I think it’s just hard because I feel like I won’t have the support I need and that scares me. I want to be honest about everything but I’m just a coward and I don’t want to face my parents when it comes down to me telling them that I like girls.
Last night I was talking to a friend on the phone. She asked if she could call me back because she was getting ready for bed and I said sure. During that time though, I started talking to Austin about liking girls and being a christian. He was telling me that if I liked girls then there’s nothing I can do about it because I was born this way and if that’s how I felt then there’s nothing wrong with it. My friend called me back and I told her what I was talking about with Austin. I told her that I’m torn. I’ve gone to church all my life and people always said it was wrong to be gay, that God doesn’t accept it. But I’ve been in a relationship with girls before and it felt normal, it felt good. My friend was telling me that I think too much about things. She should know…we were on and off again for three years. She’s my first love. I started missing her but I couldn’t tell her that. She has a boyfriend now and I can’t get in the way of her relationship. I love her and I really love being her friend. I’m not that great of a writer so I’ll just skip the rest. The point of the story is that I need to accept myself because I obviously haven’t yet…
I’ve loved dalmations since I was born<3
Shannyn Sossamon. That’s all I have to say (:
if Arizona dies i’m not watching grey’s ever again ever
I seriously just told my cousin and friend that 10 seconds ago. I love you.
finchel sucks. klaine sucks. tike is great. brittana is better than air.
Praiseee
I have learned so much from South of Nowhere. Kudos to Spashley; kudos.
I love Grey’s Anatomy.
Favorite Santana hairstyles in season 2
(Source: diannaagrons)
